Good Lord, I'm falling apart.....

I had my appointment with the neurologist today.  It was a total bust.  Thankfully I do NOT have multiple sclerosis.  Unfortunately I have been UN diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia.  This doctor does not know what is wrong with me.  He basically handed me a prescription and sent me on my way.  He had my blood drawn to check for Lupus and Rheumatoid arthritis.  I do NOT think I have those things.  Not at all.  I am really kind of upset right now.  I'm SO glad I don't have MS - but if I don't have TN then what the heck is going on with me?  The doctor told me I was really quite healthy (in all honesty I think he was surprised that a fat chick had good blood pressure - all that running has to pay off SOMEWHERE right?!).  I honestly don't know what to do now.  I am NOT taking that medication.  How can you take medication when you don't even know what is WRONG with you?  That just seems asinine.  I've been living with the pain for four years now, I guess I'll just have to live like this forever.  UGH, I feel so defeated.

Oh - and on top of that joyous news... as we were driving home I kept getting this prickly sensation at the back of my throat.  When I looked at my tongue it looked WRONG.  I mean really weird.  It was all white and almost hairy looking.  I totally freaked.  We went to a regular doctor and I found out that I have thrush.  Seriously?  Should I just go buy a freaking lottery ticket?  I seem to be winning the strange problem category lately.  So now I have another nasty freaking medication to take in order to get rid of the thrush.  I got the thrush because of the medication I was on for my colon infection.  REALLY?   I'm 37... I'm not supposed to be freaking falling apart already.  Oh Lord, I need a vacation.  Maybe in a few years I'll get one too.

Well, that's my story for today.  It's been a LONG day.  I have a buttload of Christmas gifts to finish up.  Colin has off for the next week.  AAGGHHH I'm losing my marbles!  Thanks for reading!!!  Hopefully my life will get back to normal soon.  I can't take much more of this excitement!

Thanks for reading!  Have a great night! -Monica

Looking forward to my day off tomorrow!

...... because my legs are SO SORE!  Nelly and I only did 2 miles today and we even walked some of it - but I was just so sore from my 5 miler on Tuesday!  I kind of wish my son didn't have school tomorrow so we could all just stay in bed!  I keep intending on taking the kids to the library but it's so hard to squeeze it in around school, gymnastics lessons, and Susie's nap.  I have also been intending to take them to the children's museum since we have a year pass but I'm not sure if I have the mental strength to take the two of them there by myself.  They never want to be in the same exhibit at the same time and one always wants to go to another room just as the other is settling down to the room we are in.  It's kind of crazy in a mass hysteria kind of way!

The weather sure took a sharp turn today.  I went so far as to finally getting the winter coats out of storage.  I felt SO BAD that I sent Colin to school in a hoodie today.  I didn't realize how cold it was this morning!  Just as I was dropping him off and feeling so bad about him not having his coat, I passed a little girl walking in wearing a mini skirt and a tank top.  HOLY CRAP?  Who dressed that child?  I'm guessing she dressed herself - but don't her parents see her before she leaves the house?  It was freaking cold this morning! 

I was TOTALLY going to skip my run today.  I was just feeling down on myself and sore and just wanting to sit by the fire and read a book or something.  (not that I really get to ever actually DO that).  I even went as far as texting Nelly that I couldn't make it today because I was too sore.  Thank GOD she asked if we could just go for a walk - because then my guilt kicked in.  I had not taken a shower the day before so I had to run home, take a shower, eat some breakfast, pack Susie in the car, and race to the park to meet Nelly.  (I REALLY hate being late for things - it's a pet peeve, so I really hauled ass! - don't worry, I went the speed limit!)  We ran kind of slow and Nelly had not gone running in a while so it was kind of good to have an easy day. 

Today was my first day without antibiotics.  I feel so nervous that the infection will come back.  I'm happy to report that my sense of taste and smell are returning to normal.  Thank GOD - I couldn't take it anymore!  Cross your fingers that I never get this infection again.  What a freaky and painful disease!  I'm not sure if it's a disease or a disorder - but it sucks either way you look at it!  I just hope it never flares up again!!!

Well, I'm ready to turn in.  It's been a long day and my poor legs are screaming at me!  It's funny - no matter how much my legs hurt, it feels good!  I love being a runner!  I can't wait until I look like the part!  :-)

Have a wonderful night!  Thanks for reading! -Monica

Feelin' the five!!

WOW am I sore today!  Not just my legs either!  My ribs are sore and so is my stomach and lower back.  I think I need to get working on my core!  Tomorrow is a shorter run - I'm thinking 2 miles.  I hope Susie is cooperative.  She was not to thrilled with our five mile jaunt on Tuesday!

I honestly don't know what to even say tonight.  I am so tired, my mind is barely working!  Pete called me from work this morning and asked me how quickly could I crochet a baby blanket because they were having a baby shower at work the next day.  Oh my God, really?  I did it.  I made a baby blanket in ONE DAY.  My hands are so tired!  It came out pretty cute!  I've never even met this woman - I hope she likes it!

I'm starting to think this post is not all that coherent.  I really am tired.  HA - I'm such a dork!  I'm calling it a night!  Thanks for reading! Have a great night! -Monica

Good News and Bad News.....

The good news is.... I still have my endurance!  I was able to run 5 miles today and although I'm very sore now - it felt pretty good!  My colon did not bother me (that sounds like such a weird statement!) and knee felt great.  I had a few twinges in my plantar fascia, so tonight I'm going to wear the stretching boot.  Otherwise - it was a GREAT run!  It was a HUGE mental game.  I kept starting to talk myself into quitting.  At one point I got passed by these people like I was standing still.  I wanted to quit.  I was so discouraged.  Then I thought - SHIT!!!  I'm not sitting on a couch and eating chocolate!  I'm RUNNING!!  Slowly, but I'm moving!  That got me through.  Wow I swear, it was mind game after mind game today.  It's like I didn't even hear the music on my headphone - all I heard was the voice in my head that was trying to convince me that I can't when I damn well CAN!

The bad news?  I was SLOOOOOOWWW.  I mean turtle slow.  Ok - maybe not THAT bad, but it was bad.  I tried so hard to pick up the pace but my legs just felt like lead!  I have two weeks before the race, hopefully I can get back a little of what I have lost.  I was averaging about a 14 minute mile.  PATHETIC!  I WAS doing 12 minute miles!  I know even that is slow for a lot of people -but for me it is pretty fast!  I'll get there..... I improve every time I lace up!

I am so proud of myself for doing 5 miles today.  I don't think I've done 5 straight miles since July! It feels so good to know I CAN do it!  Of course - whenever I read training plans that say "do 5 easy miles" I always laugh.  There is nothing easy about it!  Maybe someday!  Shoot, I can maybe do ONE easy mile, after that - it's all a mental challenge!  At least now I can be excited for my upcoming 10k!

On a side note, you can tell the holidays are around the corner.... I got about 7 catalogs in the mail today.  It's all good - I'm a catalog junkie!  I LOVE looking through them.  I never BUY anything, I don't have the money for that - but it's fun to dream. HA!

Well, I'm sore and really tired so I'm calling it a night!  Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night! -Monica

A hitch in my giddyap.....

I have not run in a week and a half.  It was not my decision - I was forced.  Last Sunday I was not feeling so well - I realized quickly that I needed to go to the emergency room.  As it would turn out - I had a bad infection..... in my colon.  Really??  I had no idea you could GET an infection in your colon save for after surgery or something.  It was VERY painful.  Let's just put it this way - they gave me morphine and I could still feel the pain. It turns out this is actually a disease.  Lucky me.  Diverticulitis - well that is what it's called when you get an infection, but once the infection is gone I will have a disease called diverticulosis.  It's forever.  Joy.  So I can not eat nuts, seeds, popcorn.  That really blows.  That means no strawberries (seeds) no pickles, no POPCORN!!  NOOOOOOOOO.  Needless to say - I was a bit depressed about this diagnosis.  Fast forward a week and I'm feeling MUCH better!  I'm still kind of bummed out about the diagnosis and I still get a few twinges of pain - but NOTHING like before.  Tomorrow is my first day back to running and I am REALLY nervous.  Like - race day nervous.  Let's hope I didn't lose too much, I have a 10k in two weeks!  YIKES! 

So what else is exciting - I hacked my hair off!  It used to be to the middle of my back - but now it's up to my chin!  I have mostly gotten rid of my double chin (it is still there for certain head positions) so I thought it was time to get a thinner woman's hair cut! HA!  I don't know why I think of short hair as being for thinner women, but I do.  In a way - the haircut was a rite of passage. 

In sucky news - I'm not feeling size 16 by Thanksgiving.  Its close.  I can get them on, I can zip them, I can sit down.  I can't breathe.  Ok - they are not THAT tight - but they are definitely not Thanksgiving fodder.  I wouldn't be able to eat anything!  Hey - maybe I SHOULD wear them on Thanksgiving then! HA!  At least I can get them up and zipped - that is pretty damned good!  I know I could not have even gotten them past my knees in January!

More good news - my appointment with the neurologist is next week!  Wow, I am just falling apart. Just pray that I don't have multiple sclerosis.  I'm really worried that I might.  I'm going to not think about it until I see the doctor.  It's stupid to worry about something I can't control.  Granted, I know it's HARD to not worry about it - but I have to avert my attention for now.  For sanity's sake.  I'm scared.  I won't lie - I'm really scared.

Oh - and a little more fun from the diverticulitis.... these antibiotics are HIDEOUS!!!  One makes me sick to my stomach - but the other?  Ooooh baby - that one is the mother of all evil medications!  It makes my mouth taste SO SO SO SO AWFUL!  I have not been able to drink a plain glass of water since Sunday!  It makes everything taste HORRID! 

So it's obviously been a crazy week here.  I'm hoping my run goes smoothly tomorrow!  I'll let you all know how it goes!!!

Thanks for reading!  Have a wonderful night! -Monica