Thursday, May 31, 2012


That's all I can say.  REALLY?  My face pains have been HORRIBLE for the past two days and I'm really on the verge of losing it.  It seems like everything I do triggers another attack.  Top it all off, it's humid.  Really humid.  I HATE humid.  My hair looks like a ball 'o frizz and I'm sweating just sitting still.  Thank GOD I did my run yesterday or I would have keeled over today!

Weight watchers sucked hard.  I am .4 of a pound away from an official 40lb loss.  I'm REALLY frustrated.  I have to try to refocus on the other aspects of getting fit, it helps not to pay as much attention to the actual pounds.  I think my birthday coming up has a lot to do with my frustration.  I had really wanted to hit 40lbs down by my birthday but since I don't weigh in until after my birthday I can kiss that dream goodbye.  In all honesty - I REALLY wanted to lose 50lbs by my birthday but that is definitely not happening. 

On top of the humidity and the craptastic weight watcher's meeting  - I got ZERO sleep last night.  My son snuck into my bed last night so I carried him back to his bed.  He woke up SCREAMING.  I got him back to sleep and then my daughter woke up screaming.  She got up at 3 am and decided her day was going to start right then.  So I'm hot, grouchy, tired and quite frankly I'm hungry.  I have 3 points left for the day and I'm seriously contemplating using those points on a shot of rum.

Question to everyone out there.  Do you use a chest strap for your heart rate monitor?  Have you ever had this happen??

OH MY GOD does it hurt!!  I don't understand why it only does this on the one side.  The cuts are actually quite deep.  I need to wear this thing in my race on Saturday - how the heck am I going to do that??  Man I'm in a bad mood today - not pissy bad mood, but hard on myself bad mood.  Know what I mean?

At least I have my race to look forward to!  Not long now!  Oh and I think I am going to sign my son up for a 1k race the following weekend.  I think he would have a blast doing that!!!

Thanks for reading.  I should be in a better mood tomorrow!  -Monica

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

My name should be Patricia Ramona....

So my initials would be PR!!  OH YEAH baby - I CRUSHED my best time for 5k!!!  I just did 5k in the park (which has some slight hills) in 38 minutes!!  That is a 12 minute mile!  A 10 minute mile always sounded like a pipe dream to me - but now it feels TOTALLY attainable!  I'm thinking I will be able to go that fast by the end of the summer!  I can't believe how I'm improving!  You know - I have ALWAYS been a competitive person, but I always sucked compared to everyone else.  The awesome thing about running is that you only have to beat yourself!  I LOVE that!  I can't WAIT for race day!!  Not long now!!  Just a few more days!

So I have been kinda bummed that I can't find a technical shirt in my size (without paying through the nose).   I was looking at Fred Meyer today and saw they have Under Armour in a men's shirt that would fit me.  CRAZY expensive though.  I can't WAIT to be able to walk into a clothing store and just buy something.  I'm so sick of the hassle of finding the right size and fit and MOST of the time, the things I like are not available to me.  It sucks hard.  I don't get why they don't make more fitness clothes in plus size - you've got to start somewhere right?  It's really annoying and kind of insulting really.  Not all fat people are lazy.  Know what I mean?

  I seriously need to lay down.  I really pushed myself harder than ever today.  Thanks for reading!!!  -Monica

Still fighting the good fight!

I know I have not posted in almost a week.  Sorry about that.  I guess I just needed some time to recover from my Grandmother's passing.  I'm a lot better now.  I hope I didn't lose all my readers!  Just give me a shout out if you're still here! 

Even though I took a week off of posting, I did not take a week off of eating well and exercising.  I did back off a little bit - but not TOO much.  I have a race on Saturday which I am REALLY looking forward to.  PLEASE pray that someone buys my stuff on craigs list so I can buy some new running shoes.  I'm getting a little anxious about that.  I'm sure I'll be fine - I'm just being stupid I guess.  I'm just getting this sneaking feeling that if I don't get some new shoes soon, I'm going to get an injury.  :-/ 

I did do my first run on a track this past Saturday.  That was pretty fun - I've never done that before!  The only drawbacks were 1. the track smelled gross - I guess it was a rubbery/tar-ish sort of smell (yuck) 2. There were a LOT of young people there and I felt like I was being gawked at. 3. There were CRAPLOADS of flowering trees hanging over the track and my allergies were going INSANE  There were some nice benefits to it though:  1.My son sat with my hubby and daughter in the bleachers and I could hear my son yelling "GO MOMMY GO!  GO MOMMY GO!"  LOL while I LOVED that, it was a tad embarrassing! HAHA  2.  Since the other people there were only playing football in the center of the track, I could just put my head down and concentrate on running.  3.  It gave me practice running against the wind but keeping the ground level so it didn't make it TOO hard.   All in all, I think I'm going to do a once a week run there if possible.  I really liked it!

As for my 10k training, last week sucked hard.  I have decided to wait to start the program until AFTER my race this weekend.  I plan to do this:  3 mile run today, weight training Thursday, day off Friday, race on Saturday!, day off Sunday, 10k training program Monday.  I've got this!

I had better get going - writing in the morning is not an easy task and I hear my baby girl waking up.  I'd better get her before it turns into a major meltdown! 

Thanks for reading (I really hope you all didn't leave me!)  Have a WONDERFUL day! -Monica

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I will always love you Grandma...

My Grandmother passed away this morning.  :-(  It has been a very hard day.  I'm trying to refrain from crying in front of my children, but it's not easy. 

I did ok today in terms of eating - until the late evening.  Yeah - I screwed off in a big way.  Whatever.  Tomorrow is another day.  It's supposed to be beautiful out - so I'm doing my run outside.  I'm not giving up - no matter what.  Besides, I'm pretty sure my Grandmother would be pissed if I gave up because of her!

I love you Grandma, I will NEVER forget you!

Thank you for reading, have a good night.  -Monica

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

It's a bad day here...

My grandmother is very very close to death.  The hospice nurses say she is most likely to die in the next 3 days.  I'm having a very hard time dealing with her death and my distance.  I have never felt so far away from my family in all my life.  I've never regretted moving across the country - but today I almost do.

I hate that I want to turn to junk food when I'm upset.  I HATE that about me.  I have not given in but I think it might be wise of me to have something a LITTLE splurgy before I totally cave and end up binging.  I really HATE that I find comfort in food.  I actually hate that I'm even writing this.  It's embarrassing to me.  At least now I can recognize it - before I wouldn't see it coming, it would just hit me and then I would feel guilty afterwards.  Maybe a small amount of fat free ice cream can make the craving back off.  Jeez, I sound like a junkie.  I'm sorry - I'm just an emotional mess right now.  I am going to miss my grandmother SO MUCH.  I already do.  I can't imagine not hearing her voice ever again.  I don't even think I have a video of her.  Whenever I would call her she would always ask "how are my dear sweet babies".  I'm really going to miss that.  I'm going to miss how she would always be on the front step to greet you when you visited.  It didn't matter if you were only coming from a few minutes away, she would be outside waiting!  Every Christmas she would make dozens and dozens of cookies!  Oh, and she used to keep a jar of marshmallow fluff in the cupboard, just in case the need for it should arise. HAHA  She also used to collect stained glass ornaments that she would hang on her window.  Last summer I bought one for my window.  I only have the one - but whenever I look at it, it makes me think of her.

I'm sorry to be such a bummer.  I'm having a hard time dealing with this.  Don't worry about me - I'm not falling off the wagon.  Today was a cross training day on my 10k training schedule, so I did a lot of walking.  Tomorrow is a run.  Wish I could do it outside.  The treadmill is NOT cathartic.

Thanks for reading.  I promise, I'll be back to my usual self soon.  Sorry to be such a Debbie downer.


I finally grew a pair....

and posted my blog on my facebook account.  I was debating it for about two months now!   I am SO glad I did!  I didn't even tell a lot of people that I was running or losing weight so I probably shocked them a bit!  I can't BELIEVE how many positive comments I got today!  Let me tell ya - I really needed them lately!  I had a really hard time getting back into the groove after that bad cold.  To tell the truth - I still have junk in my lungs, but I don't FEEL sick anymore so all is good!  For some reason I was the most worried about my family knowing about me losing weight.  I guess I have always felt like I was less than all my cousins because they are all so slender and beautiful and me - well - you know what I look like!

Tonight's workout was TOUGH!  Why is it that 2.5 miles on the treadmill is harder than 3 miles on the road?  I think it has everything to do with boredom honestly.  I'm getting so sick of the treadmill, but what can I do, I don't have many options!  I run when I can and that's usually late at night!  At least I do it!  I know in the past I would have used that as an excuse NOT to workout! 

On Sunday night I tried the fit test for Insanity.  It's a great workout for sure, but my knee is just not ready for jumping yet.  Maybe when I lose a bunch more weight.  Anyway - I was so worried since Sunday night that my knee would give me problems while running.  I was worried about it to the point of distraction actually.  Well, I am happy to report that my knee was just fine!  YAY!  I seriously love running.  I have to admit though - I love it more when I'm done. HAHAHA  It just makes you feel so good!  OMG once again I made an idiot of myself at the gym.  The same guy was there from yesterday too - he must think I am a total knob!  I was running on the treadmill and AGAIN (yes, I've done this before) I accidentally snagged the emergency stop magnet with my hand!  The treadmill stopped suddenly and I slammed into the console.  I'm pretty sure I yelled out "son of a bitch!". LOL  I saw the guy look at me and then chuckle.  Oh Lord - it's a good thing I'm already married because nobody could love me like Pete!  HAHAHAHA

Well, I'd better cut this short - my baby girl is crying. I'm pretty sure she is cutting two more teeth.  She has not slept well in three nights. 

Thanks for reading!  Have a wonderful day!! -Monica

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Portland, here I come!!!

I am SO excited!  My friend surprised the HECK out of me today by entering me in a race that I wanted to run but couldn't afford!  She told me it was my birthday present!  I am just SO EXCITED!  I really wanted to run this race so bad!  It's called the Starlight Run!  I still can't believe she did that for me!  That is the best birthday present EVER!!  Now if I get any birthday money (that is how my family rolls - money in lieu of gifts) then I can save it up toward my new running sneakers!  I need them SO bad!  I have my eye on the Brooks Dyad 6 - the guys at the running store told me they were the best shoe for my feet.  Honestly - these guys are AWESOME!  I trust them completely!

I have been thinking, now that I'm done with my C25K program, I don't really know what to do!  How much running should I be doing in a week?  I know I eventually want to work my way up to a 10k, but it seems most programs expect you to be already running 15 - 20 miles a week - I'm only averaging 9.  Do I add an extra day and do that for a few months?  I wonder how long it takes to do the 10k training program.  I swear - I'm a running virgin!  I want to run a 10k before Christmas - I think that is reasonable.  I also want to run a half by my birthday next year.  I saw this window sticker on another blog that said I do 13.1 - because I'm only half crazy. HAHAHAHA  That is the best!  I really want that sticker - I want to EARN it!  I'm going to have to snoop around online for some training programs.  I'll tell ya - running has been the KEY to my weight loss.  Not just the actual activity of running, but the schedule.  It keeps me active.  For some reason when I'm active, I eat better.  I'm not questioning it -I'm just admiring the fact. HA!  Anyway - I'm beyond excited about my future in running!  I am ALSO very excited about what I'm giving my children by becoming a runner!  Today my son found my old nike watch - the battery had died long ago.  He put it on his wrist and asked me if we could go running.  He walked around all day with his "running watch" on!  I LOVE it!  I'm SO proud that I've made running a normal everyday activity!

I have posted new progress pictures today - WOW I'm just blown away!  I didn't realize how friggin HUGE I was!  I know I still have a long way to go but DAMN!  You've got to respect how far I've come!  When my hubby took those pictures the other day I didn't think there was much difference - until I put them side by side with my START pictures!  I'm still in shock really!  I think my back has changed the most!  I'll post the new measurements tomorrow.  It's already midnight and I'm exhausted.

I had a great upper body workout tonight.  I had Pete make me a new routine.  I really liked it!  It was hard but didn't take all night long!  Oh wow, I had an embarrassing moment at the gym tonight!  I was doing leg lifts with one of those huge balance balls between my legs.  As I had my legs in the air I got a bad face pain (I've been getting them a lot lately - I'm hoping they back off soon) anyway - I kind of shouted because it was SO strong and it took me by total surprise.  When I yelled, I dropped the ball and it nailed me in the face and rolled across the room.  Thank God there were not many people working out at 11 at night! LOL

Well, I'm off to bed!  Thank you for reading!  Have a WONDERFUL day!  -Monica

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Still chugging along...

It's been a hard weekend.  My grandmother has been put on hospice and it does not look like she has very long to live.  I'm heartbroken.  She is too far away for me to visit so last year is my last time that I saw her.  I'm thankful she was doing well last year so I have a good memory of her.  I am also glad that she had the chance to hold my daughter.  I miss her so much already, I just wish I was going to have the chance to say goodbye.  :-(

I didn't do much of anything for exercise this weekend.  Saturday was a scheduled rest day but today I was a complete sloth.  I pretty much read a book and slept all day.  Tonight hubby and I did the fit test for Insanity.  OH MY FRIGGIN GOD that was HARD!  My knee was not impressed with the workout and it is a little achy right now.  I'm hoping it will be good to go by tomorrow so I can do my run.  I think I'm going to hold off on Insanity until I lose some more weight and strengthen the muscles around my knee.  I do NOT want to risk a blow out.  Not when I've been doing so well with running!

So I've noticed a side effect of weight loss that I really HATE.  I mean HATE!!!  The skin under my arms is sagging, as is the skin around my belly.  I knew I was going to have some excess skin, but I didn't think I was going to have this much so soon.  I look and feel like the saggy baggy elephant.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm kind of depressed about it.  I was JUST starting to really feel good about how I look. UGH, how frustrating.  I'm going to call my gym tomorrow and ask if I could have a weight training plan made for me - hopefully the weight training will help relieve some of that sag.  I HAVE been doing weight training, but maybe they have a better strategy than what I've been doing.  I'll try anything.

Cross your fingers that my knee is better tomorrow.  It's not bad or anything, but I want it to feel totally normal tomorrow!  Also, if you could please send up a prayer for my grandma, I'd appreciate it.  She is a wonderful person, she does not deserve this long, slow death.  As bad as it sounds, I just pray she goes to sleep and wakes up in heaven.  She really deserves to be at peace. 

Thank you so much for reading.  Have a wonderful night! -Monica

Friday, May 18, 2012

Morning has broken.....

 Today I did my run in the MORNING!  Crazy huh?  It was BEAUTIFUL!  Slightly chilly, but the sun was shining.  It was a PERFECT running temperature!  I want to say it was about 55.  I dropped Colin off at preschool and took Susie to the park with me.  I strapped her into the jogging stroller and off we went!  This time I didn't map out my route ahead of time - I just ran and looked at my watch to know how far I had gone.  It was better that way - instead of my usual laps.  It made it go by faster!  I had one earbud in my ear so I could listen to my podrunner mp3 to help me keep pace without having to look at my watch 30 million times.  Ok so I still looked at my watch 30 million times, but the podrunner REALLY helped keep me on pace!  I am SO going to buy one of their shirts so I can support them!  Of course, not until I can afford one though! LOL  Anyway, there were a few times when my pace slowed a bit, but in general I was able to pick it back up within a few moments.  It was MUCH harder running while pushing the jogger.  I think it would have been a LITTLE easier if I had actually filled the tires a bit - they were a tad on the flat side!  Anyway - I decided since I was one week away from the end of the c25k I would attempt 3 miles and see how long it took.  MUCH to my DELIGHT and surprise - I ran 3 miles in UNDER 40 minutes!  I couldn't BELIEVE it!!  I probably should have finished out a full 5k but I was seriously done.  I couldn't move one more step!  I didn't think I could go that fast for that long!  I am SO proud of myself! 

Tomorrow would have been my 5k.  I'm pretty sad that I won't be able to run it.  It sucks hard being broke.  Today was some consolation though - at least now I know I would have made my goal of finishing in under 40 minutes!  I know I didn't do a full 5k today but I have to imagine the stroller slowed me down a bit!  I'm so darned excited about my pace today!  As if you couldn't tell. HAHAHA

Tonight's dinner was DELICIOUS!!   I cooked a whole chicken on the charcoal grill!  I marinated it for TWO DAYS in olive oil, the juice of two lemons, a sliced up jalapeno, and a bunch of fresh rosemary from my "garden".  (I put garden in quotes because the only thing I am growing are weeds and rosemary LOL)  It was SO YUMMY!  I am totally doing that again!  There is something to be said for cooking on a charcoal grill - it makes everything taste SOOOO good!

Well, I'm about to sign off.  It's actually still early tonight and I think we are going to go on a nice long family walk!  My legs still feel a bit like rubber, but I am SO happy to be feeling mostly healthy again!  I am going to enjoy the lovely weather while it lasts.  Plus, between you and me, my kids sleep MUCH better when they get some fresh air before bedtime!  HA I have ulterior motives!!

Thank you for reading!  I hope you all have a WONDERFUL evening!!  Oh and to all my friends who are struggling - I just want to give you a shout out that I care about you and that I KNOW you can get over this hurdle.  All I can say is just go out and do it!   Sometimes that first push out the door is the hardest.  Like they say, a body in motion tends to stay in motion.  Getting started is the hardest part!  I have faith in you!!  HUGS!!!  -Monica

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm LOVING this weather!!

Today was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!  My outdoor thermometer said 77!  It was SO nice out - warm and sunny with a little breeze!  I was all set to go running this morning.  I dropped my son off at school and I headed to the park with the baby and the jogging stroller.  I got there and realized that my blood sugar was too low to start running.  I ate a granola bar and 10 minutes later it STILL wasn't high enough!  The only thing I had left to eat was a completely FLATTENED fruit/cereal bar.  It was kinda nasty - but it brought my sugar up enough to run.  I got all stretched out and bent over to start my foot pod and wouldn't you know it.  Dead as a doornail.  OH MAN was I pissed!  I wasted all that gas just driving to the park!  I wasn't about to run without the footpod because then I wouldn't have any idea what kind of pace I was doing.  In reality, I think it was divine intervention.  After dinner tonight I talked the hubs into a family walk.  It was so fun - I had Susie in the toy push car and Colin rode his trike (he is recently afraid of his two wheeler because he almost fell off last week so we've regressed to the trike).  We walked a mile and a comfortable pace.  I felt ok while we were walking - but when we got home, I hacked junk out of my lungs for half an hour.  It was horrible and it really hurt.  I think running may have to wait one more day.  I think I'll rest tomorrow and give it a go on Friday.  This has been one persistent cold.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep through the night tonight.  I have been waking up hacking my lungs out every single night for almost a week now.  It's gettin' old!!

Tomorrow is weigh in day at Weight Watcher's.  I'm PRAYING that I weigh in at 249!  I'm sure I will be 251 on their scale - it's NEVER the same.  I think having an "official" weigh in UNDER 250 will feel like pure heaven!!  I think tomorrow I get a special sticker for coming for 16 weeks.  Cool huh?  I can't believe it's the middle of May!  I've been at it for 5 months now and I'm down 40 lbs!  I won't lie - I thought it would be 50 by now, but I can't complain!  40 lbs is more than my son weighs!!  I had to go buy a pair of shorts from goodwill yesterday!  They fit perfectly!  I STILL can't believe I'm wearing a 20!  I'm almost to the teens!  I have not seen the teens in at LEAST 10 years!  The cool thing about the teens is that there are a LOT more clothing choices out there - not that I plan on buying much, since I don't plan on staying in the teens for very long!  I can't believe it - I'm really doing it!  Not only am I doing it - I'm LOVING it!  Size 18 - here I come!!!

Thanks for reading!  Have a WONDERFUL night!! -Monica

Monday, May 14, 2012

I'm on my knees....

Because this cold has brought me to them....  HOLY COW this is a bad cold.  I am seriously ready to be healthy again.  I have not worked out since Friday and I hate it.  I'm hoping tomorrow I can get back in the game.  I've been eating well though so I'm not too upset about it. 

A couple of AMAZING things have happened in the past few days.  First - I fit into my wedding gown!  WHOA!  In all honesty - it fit me better yesterday than it did on my actual wedding day!  I still can't get over that!  I think I'm going to try that thing on every few months just to watch it start to hang on me!!
Oh, and I should note that I was wearing jean shorts under the dress here and it STILL fit!  When I got married, I had to wear spanx just to suck it all in!!  On the day I got married, I was so squeezed into this thing - I looked like I had boobs up to my chin.  I'm just blown away by this! 

The second awesome thing that happened - I won a family portrait at a local photography studio!  That knocked off one of my 38 by 38!  As we were getting ready to go have our portrait taken, I was freaking out because I couldn't find any pants to wear.  Pete and Colin were wearing khaki's and I wanted to wear some too - but mine were SO baggy on me, they looked stupid.  I thought - oh what the hell, so I grabbed a pair of 20's from my drawer and GUESS WHAT????

Those are the 20's!!  They fit perfectly!!  I'm still in shock!  So that was awesome thing number 3!  I used to wear these pants 9 or 10 years ago! 

Today was the fourth awesome thing that happened.  I still want to jump up and down and scream/sing/dance just thinking about it!  I stepped on my scale this morning and (naked of course) I weighed 249.6!!  I BROKE OUT OF THE 250's!!!!!!  HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP!!  Of course, with clothes on I was 250.8 but I'm hoping I can drop another pound by Thursday so Weight Watchers can make it official!  When I drop 20 more pounds, I will officially be thinner than my husband has EVER known me!  That just blows me away! 

I am still quite congested tonight.  I can't laugh or else I break into a major coughing fit.  I really hope it passes soon.  I am really ready to start running outside now - I can't wait to get off of that treadmill!  We never did raise enough money for the race, kinda bummed - but I have found a few great races in early June that I'm thinking I may be able to enter!  Hopefully I will be fully mended by then!  It just seems like I've gotten illness after illness lately.  I'm SO proud of the fact that I did NOT let it make me quit!  I am SO excited about getting healthy and losing weight!  Usually that excitement would fade as soon as I was faced with my first slice of chocolate cake.  I'm happy to report that you can STILL have your cake and lose weight too - just not the entire cake. HAHAHA

Thank you so much for reading!  Have a WONDERFUL night!  If you're a praying person - please send up a prayer that I get well soon.  I want to get back into it so badly!  Thanks!!! -Monica

Friday, May 11, 2012

On your feet Fridays!!!!

I just participated in the most AWESOME event!!  It was SUCH a fluke that I found it really!  I was searching for information on when the absolute LAST day to enter a race on the 19th is.  I was looking at our local running store's website (they are VERY proactive in our community) Gallagher Fitness held an event tonight that was to raise awareness and funds for the Friends of 2 Bridges which is a proposed foot bridge that connects two GREAT running parks in town.  They are going to hold the OYFF every month!  I am SO going to enter every single time!  Basically, there are 8 checkpoints around town - you have to run to each one and get a stamp on your "passport".  For each checkpoint you get a raffle ticket - they raffled off some amazing stuff - the best of which was a new pair of running shoes!  OMG I ALMOST won tonight!  I was off by 1 number!  It broke my heart. LOL  I made it to 7 of the 8 checkpoints.  The 8th checkpoint was like 1.5 miles away and I had NO idea where it even was really.  My goal by the last OYFF in October is to make all 8 checkpoints!  I am on a serious high right now - talk about renewing my excitement for running!  A lot of people walked - I kind of wogged since I had my daughter in an umbrella stroller!

Tomorrow we are going to have a yard sale in hopes to get enough money for me to enter my race!  Cross your fingers!!

I'm going to keep it short and sweet tonight - I am pretty stoked from the event I was just in!  I have to use some of that energy to get stuff ready for our sale tomorrow!!

Thank you so much for reading!  Have a WONDERFUL night! -Monica!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Damn you meth heads....

Thanks to you I can't get a decent cold medicine over the counter anymore.  AAAHHHHHH (pounding her fists in frustration)  I went to take a dose of nyquil that was in my cupboard (not that it works anymore now that they took out the ingredient that actually made it useful) and I noticed that my bottle expired 5 years ago.  WHAT THE HECK?!!  I apparently don't take medicine very often and I NEVER check the dates on them until I need them.  Yesterday I found my vicks vaporub expired like 7 years ago.  HAHAHAHA  I'm my own crown of thorns!  Well, I just popped two advil pm's - the ingredient that makes you sleepy also dries out your mucous membranes so hopefully that gets me some sleep tonight.  I swear - I have the whole shebang - itchy eyes, throat, ears, headache, cough, congestion, sneezing.  My ears are driving me the most crazy - they itch and feel like they are going to pop at the same time.  I know it's from my sinuses draining but sheesh - how uncomfortable can you get!  OH and when my sinuses are full I always get more face pain attacks.  It's been a fun day for me!

Ok - I won't suffer you all through evil cold day 2.  I DID have my Weight Watcher's weigh in today.  I am down 2.8 lbs.  So I lost all the weight (1.6 lbs) that I had gained during my week of partying  indiscretion and then some.  PHEW - crisis averted!  Honestly I think I lost a little more than that - my fingers were a little swollen today and I got my second period since my daughter was born last year.  (crazy but awesome right?)  My body is still all screwed up from pregnancy.  I DO have PCOS so it's not like my body is ever really NORMAL in that area but still - more normal than this! 

As you can imagine - I have not been the happiest lady on the block - what with this hideous cold and my period.  OH and my voice has decided to turn into the most lovely tone of bullfrog!  I kind of sound like Howard's mom on The Big Bang Theory!  "HOWARD - COME RUB SOME VAPORUB ON MY CHEST".  I love that show!

All hope is not lost for the Iris race.  I'm going to try to sell some baby stuff that I don't need anymore and see if I can't come up with the funds.  Then again - I wonder if I should maybe apply that to some really good running shoes from the running store.  I have learned the hard way that I can not just go to the store and buy a pair that looks cute or feels comfortable.  I'm sure a lot is because of my weight - but I need a really good, supportive shoe.  I have my eye on a pair - the running store helped me find the right ones.  Anyway - I need to save up for them because I just do NOT have $100 lying around!  They are really comfy and cute at the same time!  BONUS!!  They are called Dyad 6 by Brooks.  They are mostly white with a little bit of red on them. 

Well, I can feel my advil PM starting to take effect.  I had better call it a night before I start talking weird.  (I apologize if I have already done so but do not yet realize it!)

Thank you so much for reading!  Have a GREAT night!  -Monica

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Time to chill out...

As in a fever and the chills.  This is a bad cold.  I feel HORRIBLE.  Worse yet, I can't fall asleep because I ache everywhere and my throat hurts SOOOOOOOO bad.  I hate sore throats - I have to say, it's the worst part of being sick.  I was still going to do my run, but then my lungs started to burn along with my throat.  I think I'm going to be down for the count for the next few days.  I was just getting back into the swing of things since my unofficial "week off" last week.  More like my week of slacking.  Oh well, whatever.  I recommitted on Sunday and on track I will stay - minus the exercise.  As soon as my lungs feel halfway decent, I'll get back to running.  Hopefully that is only a day or two. 

So here I sit, slathered in Vicks vaporub.  My cats won't come near me.  Apparently I smell.  What snobs!  I was thinking my Vicks seemed kind of weak.  I always remembered it being stronger.  Then I noticed the expiration date.  5/2005.  I kid you not - I've had a jar of Vicks for so long, it expired 7 years ago. As crappy as I feel - this still makes me laugh right out loud!  I want to take a really hot, steamy shower - but I do NOT want to wake up the kids.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do.  I really need some sleep.

In other news - it looks like I will NOT be running in the Iris 5k on the 19th.  There is no WAY I can come up with the $30 registration fee.  I wish races didn't cost so much money.  I'm pretty bummed - I really wanted to run this one!  Oh well, there is always next year!

AAHHH, I'm freezing cold again.  I hate that.  It feels like someone just turned on the air conditioning!  UGH and my ears are driving me bonkers - along with the vertigo.

Whoops - slipped right back into that one didn't I?!  Sorry!  It's all I can think about.  This cold really packs a wallop - let's hope it's a short one though!

Tomorrow is my weigh in - while I didn't workout yesterday or today, I feel pretty good about my week.  I think I am going to be happy with my progress!

Thank you again for reading!  Have a wonderful night! -Monica

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I should have known....

I'm sick!  I should have KNOWN it was coming based on how depressed I felt yesterday.  I don't know why that always happens to me!  I could almost set my watch by it!  Anyway - it was a hard day to keep up with the kids.  I felt like total garbage.  I just got everyone into bed and I plan to follow suit as soon as I'm done writing!  I am not going to do my weight training - I think it is probably best to get some actual rest.  I'm not too worried - I was so busy today, I actually got 38 points on my fitness meter!  That is 8 points above my daily goal!

So dinner tonight was AMAZING!  It was really tasty and really quite beautiful!  I just had to share a picture of it!! 
Even the kids ate like champs!  I will TOTALLY be making this again!  My son was really excited to have dinner on a stick. HA!  Gotta love preschoolers!  The stuff in the middle is just the extra bits from the kebabs plus some asparagus.  I originally intended to put the asparagus on the the skewers - but they just didn't like to be speared.  (yes, pun TOTALLY intended there!)  It was SO yummy!  I marinated the beef in a mesquite marinade - it was very tasty but a little zippy.  The kids ate before me so I didn't realize until a bit later.  Now I know why they were so thirsty!  HAHA  Wow - Mom fail on that one!

      This is not an official pic of me - but hubby took it a few days ago and I was blown away - what do you guys think??

When I started in January - I couldn't even get these over my hips.  Not even close!  How friggin cool is that?  They were a little snug in this picture - but two days ago I wore them all day in total comfort!  WHOO HOO!  Just more proof that the scale does not always show your true progress!

Another cool accomplishment that I did yesterday - well, I'm not sure if I will check this off of my 38 by 38 list because I did it while standing up and bending over.  I'm pretty sure I could never do that before either although I never did try it.
The color is a bit vivacious - but it's wearing on me!  :-)  Dang do I have fat feet.  I sure hope they get thinner too!  It would be nice to wear regular width shoes!

One last pic, I swear.  I just thought this was super cute and I wanted to share.

How sweet is this?  Colin LOVES his kitty SO MUCH!  I love this picture!!!

Ok, it's time for me to hit the hay!  Thanks for reading and putting up with my mood swings. HAHAHA

Have a great night!  Thank you again for reading! -Monica

Monday, May 7, 2012

Not Feelin' the Love....

I've been pretty down today.  I just can't shake it.  I feel really lonely.  I feel really fat, and ugly.  Days like this, I wish I could crawl back into bed and sleep for a few days.  I didn't though.  I had a really busy day.  My cat decided to have diarrhea on my down comforter - which soaked all the way through to my mattress protector.  Thank GOD we invested in that thing, otherwise my mattress would have been history.  I got all the stains out of everything - I'm just waiting for my down comforter to dry - it may take days.  I guess I'm just feeling under loved and under appreciated lately.  No guess, that hits the nail right on the head.  I will spare you the gory details.  Just understand I'm feeling friendless, familyless, and unwanted.  :-(

I still ate very well today.  I even planned a "splurge" and took my son for a McDonald's low fat ice cream cone.  It was so hot today and it was the perfect treat!  Not that he said thank you.  Figures.  I even took him to a used bookstore and we got two new "Biscuit" books - he LOVES them.  Again, no thank you.  You'd think I would be used to it, but for some reason it is really bothering me today.  Anyway, I DID get to the gym - pretty late in the day - but I got it done.  WOW was it hard.  I think the treadmill I picked may very well be the fastest of all of them.  It was about a minute and a half faster than the others!  I feel like I got run over by a truck!  Once again - the end was nothing but sheer will.  I kept thinking how badly I want to get out of the 250's.  OH MY GOD do I want to get out of the 250's.  I want that more than I can express with words.

It's kind of funny - I used to hate getting dressed.  I slowly started liking it.  Now I'm hating it again.  The only difference is that now I hate it because everything is too big on me.  I look like a clown!  Most of my shirts are so baggy - they make me look so much bigger than I am!  I only have one pair of shorts now!  I LIVE in jean shorts during the summer.  The ones I wore last summer after I had "lost weight" are INSANELY big on me.  If I put them on - they fall down.  If I walk - they fall completely off.  You'd think that would excite me more- but for some reason it's depressing to not have anything to wear.  Ok, I'm sorry - I guess I'm just in a crappy mood.  I don't want to rub off on anyone.  I apologize.  I'll try to suck it up and put on my big girl panties.

I managed to break my own personal all time record on my fitness meter!  I got 65 points!  I still can't believe it.  I seriously hope I get off of this stupid 255 lb mini plateau.  I'm getting frustrated.  I have to slap myself back into reality and remember it's not about the number on the scale, but the level of health I can achieve and maintain.  Why does that stupid scale rule all?

Anyway - I'd better get myself showered and in bed.  I can tell I'm coming down with my son's cold.  I'm just SO glad he feels the need to share every cold he gets.  I HATE being sick.  It was SO hard to run today with such a sore throat and sinus pain.  BLAH.  Hopefully a hot shower will clear some of the congestion up!!

Thank you for reading!  Again, sorry if I sound really negative today.  I really hate feeling so alone.  -Monica

Saturday, May 5, 2012

A day full of running!!

What a fun day this has been!!  This morning I ran with my son in the "Awesome 3000", which is a local race for children from pre - K through high school.  Obviously it's run in different waves depending on age.  My son's group ran 300 meters (about a quarter mile) and I ran with him!  It was SO much fun getting to run with him!  He was doing great until we got to the bleachers and all the people cheering!  He kept looking up and starting to wave!  HAHA  He is such a ham!  He got a medal for running along with a cool race shirt - and the pre - K kids all got a book!  It was so fun!  I'm already looking forward to next year!  It blows me away that I would NOT have been able to do this with him in my previous condition!!  I am SO proud that I was able to run with him and encourage him in his first "race"!  Last night before bed I was talking to him about his upcoming race.  He asked me if he could wear my meter and running watch.  :-)  I LOVE this child!  I am SO proud of the fact that I am making a very obvious and very healthful impression on him!  I hope he wants to be a runner some day too!  I don't think I could say enough how thrilled I am to be able to run this with him!!  He told me is was a Mommy and Colin day!  Yes, my sweet little boy, it was!

I finally got my butt to the gym pretty late tonight.  I won't pretend - these last two weeks of the C25K are VERY hard and I dread them.  I did NOT want to run tonight.  I've been having a LOT of issues with my foot and ankle - I'm pretty sure it's all related to plantar fasciitis.  It's not fun - at times I am actually limping.  Surprisingly enough, it does not hurt at all when I run.  I'm sure I will be feeling it in about an hour.  I'm going to go soak it in Epsom's salts when I'm done writing.  Anyway - so here I am at the gym on the treadmill.  I'm running my heart out and it's getting pretty hard.  I was back in the place where I have to keep telling myself that I can do it, only 10 more minutes, only 8 more minutes, etc.  You get the picture - it's more an exercise of the will rather than of the body.  I am just shy of 5 minutes left when my stupid hand hit the stupid emergency cut off magnet on the treadmill.  OH MY GOD I almost KILLED myself!  I slammed into the console and almost lost my balance and fell off the treadmill!  Thank GOD nobody was there to see it - well, one guy was there and I don't think he actually SAW me, but he heard the stream of obscenities come pouring out of my mouth.  OH MAN I was so pissed!  There was no WAY I could get going again and finish my 5 minutes - I just couldn't run another step.  I don't know why it's so hard to stop and then start again, but it is!  A lot of people tell me they walk/run - or wog?  I think I've heard it called wogging before.  Anyway - I could never do that.  Once I slow down, I lose my momentum.  Maybe when I'm a better runner or when I'm fitter - but for now if I stop, I'm done.  I was kind of irked at myself for stopping 5 minutes shy of my target for the day but I can't complain.  It's better than sitting on the couch eating ice cream.  Ok, maybe not BETTER than that - but surely much more healthful!  HAHA  I wear a fitness meter at all times - it's not one of those expensive and fancy ones (although a girl can dream right?)  this one is from my gym and it's called the easyFIT.  My daily goal is to get 30 points.  I generally get anywhere for 28 - 42.  I'm usually in the low to mid 30's.  Today I got a 57!!  I'm pretty sure that is a record for me!  I'm thinking I may walk around a bit more to see if I can't get to 60!  ok, no I won't.  HAHAHA  I'm beat - time for a shower, some tea (or for some reason I'm thinking I want some decaf coffee), some popcorn, and a scary movie that I rented.   Sounds good to me!

Thanks for reading!  Have a WONDERFUL night!! -Monica

My arch enemy is here....

And by arch enemy, I of course mean plantar fasciitis.  I am SO sick of having this problem.  I'm sure once I drop some more lbs and get some new sneakers, the problem will chill out - but for now it's pretty bad.  I was supposed to do a run yesterday and I just could not.  I was in so much pain.  Today is not too bad thankfully, I'm running with my son at his 300 meter race. 

I'm still around, I'm still eating ok (save for a few awful days following my daughter's birthday party).  I'm hoping this little race today will help me get back into the groove.  I really miss running!!  I have not been lifting because of my wrist.  HOLY COW I seem to have suddenly fallen apart!  No worries - I have not and WILL NOT give up!  I'm still here!   Oh - and my laptop has officially died - for some reason it is harder for me to sit down at the desktop to write, but I guess it's what I'm going to have to do! 

Have no fear - I have not fallen off of the wagon!!

Have a WONDERFUL day!! -Monica