Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Pushing through the pain....

The face pain that is.  I have been having a really bad time with my trigeminal neuralgia lately.  I mean bad.  Really bad.  The usual face pains have been coming SO much more frequently in the past week and they have been hurting more and lasting longer.  Well today the buzzing started again.  It feels like electricity buzzing under my skin.  It's uncomfortable and it hurts - almost burns.  The buzzing used to only be on my mouth and tongue but now it seems to have spread to my cheeks and the end of my nose.  I am in misery right now.  I'm having a real battle with myself in regards to starting medication or not.  It's the hardest decision I've ever had to make and I really don't know which way to go.  It should be against God's law for a mother to have excruciating pain in her face from kissing her children.  It's just wrong.  I am never going to stop though, no matter how much it hurts.  I will NEVER stop kissing my babies.

I never knew what my pain triggers were - I never really noticed any patterns before.  As things seems to be getting worse, the triggers are more obvious.  Kissing is one - really the puckering action, so kissing, using a straw, even just making silly faces with the kids.  Heat is a HUGE one.  Not really the heat from my body like when I'm hot from running, but heat from the sun or an external source.  The worst is walking into a store in the winter and they have those heat blowers at the entrance.  Wind is another trigger.  A huge change in temperature - like going inside to air conditioning from a very hot day.  Brushing my teeth can trigger it too.

Ok - I'm sorry, this is turning into a real bitchfest.  I'm proud of myself today though - even though I'm in so much pain, I  got my run in.  Wow have I ever lost some endurance.  I could only do 2 miles today and that was walk/run.  Granted, it could have been partially due to being in so much pain.  I don't think so though.  I'm glad I started adding incline to my run - I think that will only help me in the long term. 

I've been getting better at hooping!  Now I can do TWO turns while hooping!  AWESOME!  Once I get a few tricks under my belt I will post a video of myself!  HA!  Just don't laugh at me!

My Mom comes this weekend!  YAY!  I'm SO excited to see her!  I love her SO much and I have really missed her this past year!  I think I'm actually more excited for the kids to be with her than myself!  <3 

Well, I should probably take a shower ( just finished my run).  I'm kind of dreading it since I know the water will hurt my face.  I could take a bath, but the shower is faster and it will hurt when I wash my hair in the tub anyway.  :-/

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post - I hope you are all having a better day than I am!  Thanks for reading! -Monica

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