Tuesday, September 18, 2012

emotional wreck....

That pretty much sums me up today.  I've been a mess all day.  It started with the scale.  I have been working my BUTT off by stepping up my exercise 10 fold and counting weight watcher's points like Scrooge McDuck and I have not lost a single pound in two weeks.  I highly suspect my medication.  I was devastated when the scale didn't budge this morning.  Dropped my son off at school and took my daughter to the park to do my run with Nelly.  When I got there I noticed the tires in my jogger were really very soft, so I pulled out the pump and proceeded to fill them.  As I was bending over this guy yelled to his friend "DAMN she is HUGE".  That pretty much broke my spirits.  I think the hardest thing for me is that if most people lost 50lbs they would be too thin.  I lost 50lbs and I still look like crap.  I know I look "better" but I still don't look good.   This is very hard for me to accept.  On top of all this, my run sucked buttcheeks.  I think partially this was due to my spirits being very low, the other part was probably due to yesterday's hill running.  My legs just felt like lead weights.  I just could NOT shake the dust off for anything.  We ended up walking most of today's 3 miles.  I really hope I feel more like myself by Sunday's 5k!

I have decided to knock back my pill to 1 a day.  If it helps with my pain AND I start losing weight again - then I'll leave it at that.  If I still don't lose anything, I'm going to look into some other options.  I'm also thinking of just living with the pain.  I'm sure at some point I won't be able to just deal, but for now I REALLY need to get healthy.  Sometimes things seem so unfair.  I've worked so hard - I am NOT going to let this sideline me.

So I promised some pictures.  They are not exciting pictures - but they look good to me!  :-)  Today I pulled out the trusty old crockpot.  I made a veggie soup - zero points.  I figured, if I get hungry then I can just snack on some soup.  I know I'm out of my mind - its been in the low 90's - but I had to use up some of these veggies before the spoiled!  I had a taste and it is REALLY good!  It's got chicken stock, broccoli, leeks, carrots, celery, tomatoes, garlic, and kale.  VERY tasty!!
Then for dinner I made chicken terriyaki with brown rice and cabbage/carrot/broccoli sautee.  This came out REALLY good!

Even Susie agrees:

That's all I have to say about today.  I hope tomorrow I feel a lot better emotionally.  I'm thinking I may try throwing in some weight training.  It's hard to juggle going to the gym with my crazy life.  I'm going to have to try to do it right after Pete gets out of work.  I'm way too tired after dinner!

So here are a few pics from our summer vacation!  We went to the Oregon coast - it was BEAUTIFUL!  Cold, but beautiful!  The kids had SO much fun at the beach!  I got a really beautiful panoramic shot of the bay - I may have to blow that one up!!

 Oh and this one is funny.  We tried to get a family shot with us kissing.  Colin was supposed to be standing above us while Susie sits below us.  This picture really captures our every day life.  Something bizarre and chaotic is always going on! HA!
Well, that's about all!  Have a WONDERFUL night!  Thank you for reading!! -Monica


  1. Oh Hun that is horrible! Don't let immature jerks ruin your day or your progress. You're doing a good thing and no one should make you feel bad for that. Your food looks so yummy by the way. I sure miss Oregon. I was born in Medford. What part are you from. Until recently I had family in Shady Cove and White City.

    1. I went to college for one term in Medford! Well, Ashland anyway! I'm in the Salem area - I love it here!

      It's not so much the jerks that made my day so bad - it's the scale. Those guys just made it worse. Of course, today the scale is the exact same again. I'm getting beyond frustrated.

  2. I LOVE the Oregon coast! We went camping there in August almost every year when I was growing up. It is so beautiful. I even went on my honeymoon there (although now I wish it had been somewhere more exotic). :-)

    Your chicken teriyaki looks fabulous (so does the veggie soup), I want your recipe for the teriyaki . . . maybe you could post it. ;-)

    Don't let immature jerks get you down. The only people that matter are the ones that love you (and us blog readers) and I think you look great! You are such an inspiration to me.

    1. Thank you Cathy! I really love the Oregon coast too! I wish I had the money - we'd go all the time!

      The terriyaki chicken is really REALLY easy! I slice up chicken breast and grill it on the BBQ - it cooks fast because I slice it thin. I use bottled terriyaki sauce but my absolute favorite is this: http://www.amazon.com/Fruitful-Island-Gourmet-Teriyaki-Sauce/dp/B004XWEJEY I get it locally and it is only 4 bucks a bottle - no clue why amazon is so much! As for the veggies - I get a green cabbage and shred it. I cut some broccoli into small pieces. I also cut some carrots into thin strips. In a wok I add 2 TBS of toasted sesame oil (has to be toasted for the right flavor) I add the veggies and cook on high until it starts to soften. Then I add 2 TBS of rice wine (mirin) and put a lid on it and let it steam a bit. I add lots of fresh ground pepper. That's about it! Serve it over brown rice and voila!